Scigolf - The Nineteenth Hole - Weird Golf Facts and Figures.

Golf Jokes #1

Four golfers were approaching the 5th tee. The frst golfer teed off and hooked the ball in the direction of the road and bike path on the left of the fairway. The ball went over the fence and bounced off the bike path onto the road, where it hit the side of a moving bus and was knocked back on to the fairway.

The rest of the foursome were astonished. One man asked him, "How on earth did you do that?"

Without hesitation, the player replied, "You have to know the bus timetable."

After constantly being asked by his wife to teach her to play golf, the husband finally relented and took off for the course.

On the first hole, the husband steps up and says "Watch what I do and then do the same thing." He hits a nice shot that lands on the green with about 30 feet to the cup.

His wife steps up, drills it, hooks it, and bounces it off a rock, clips a tree, sideswipes the second rock and rolls up onto the green and drops in the hole.

Her husband looks at this, and says "OK, now you know how to play, let's go home."

A man was looking for a new caddy one day when his friend said "I know a great caddy - he is 90 years old but he has eyes like a hawk".

"OK," said the man "tell him I'm playing again in a week."

The week passed and the day of the game arrived. They started playing and the golfer hit a perfect drive and he said to the caddy "Did you see where it went?"

The caddy then said "Yes".

"OK then, where is it?"

The caddy replied "I forgot."

Some Golfing Truths:

A golf gift given to you at Christmas by a non-golfer is always unsuitable.

Is it just a coincidence that the only remaining set of clubs in the professional's shop was made especially for you?

No successive swings are ever the same except when you hit consecutive shots out of bounds.

Nobody ever coughs on your follow through.

All out-of-bounds fences are located a foot the wrong side of your ball.

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