Golf Questions, Definitions and Advice

1. Golf can best be defined as an endless series of tragedies obscured by the occasional miracle.

2. I wish I could play my normal game...just once.

3. Golf is harder than baseball. In golf, you have to play your foul balls.

4. If you find yourself playing golf in the rain, the snow, even during a hurricane, here's a valuable tip: get a life.

5. Try to explain golf - You hit down to make the ball go up. You swing left and the ball goes right. The lowest score wins. And, if you win, YOU have to buy the drinks.

6. Golfers who try to make everything perfect before taking the shot rarely make a perfect shot.

7. A "gimme" can best be defined as an agreement between two players...neither of whom can putt very well.

8. Golf's a hard game to figure. One day you'll go out and slice it and shank it, hit into all the traps and miss every green. The next day you go out and for no reason at all you really stink.

9. If your best shots are the practice swing and the "gimme putt", you might wish to take up another sport.

10. Golf is the only sport where the most feared opponent is you.

11. Golf is like marriage: If you take yourself too seriously it won't work... and both are expensive.

12. In golf, some people tend to get confused with all the numbers... they shoot a "six," yell "fore" and write "five".

13. If you find yourself pleased that you locate more balls in the rough than you actually have lost, your focus is totally wrong and your personality might not be right for golf...it is also just a matter of time before the IRS investigates your business.

14. Why is it twice as difficult to hit a ball over water than sand?